This gave me indigestion of the imagination. Sure, I enjoyed it as it was going down, but an hour or two later I feel bloated, unsatisfied, and vaguely ill.
To give an overprocessed popcorn flick its due: shit does blow up in some pretty bitchin' ways. But X-Men is not just about blowing shit up, as fucking awesome and unnecessary as the Golden Gate Bridge thing was.
- I don't care if Cyclops isn't bankable, or if Marsden was miscast (as some people say--I don't agree), or if he was so poorly written that we're better off without him. He deserves better than this. Scott is a character who needs time to unravel, and he was never given that kind of time onscreen. He should not disappear without a trace. Jean should not be making out with Wolverine while her husband isn't evencold in his grave fully dispersed in the atmosphere whatever. I'm not even sure that Phoenix should be, if she's just Jean's unconscious.
- Speaking of, I guess it's good that they cut out the cosmic entity and stuff, but the split personality is almost as lame, just because it comes so close to being a good explanation. Minisinoo's Grail is still my ideal: Phoenix is the effect of unimaginable power on Jean's own personality (and conscience). Simple, intuitive, yet rich with meaning.
- I agree with
shareul that makeup/effects missed a golden opportunity to use a kickass flame effect when they decided to go with "Phoenix gets kind of ugly and weird when she uses her powers." The Phoenix is impressive and terrifying, but she doesn't inspire awe--there's no terrible beauty, like a force of nature. Instead she seems spoiled and mouldy. The processes of rotting and decomposition are natural too, yes, and reminiscent of death and rebirth, but they've never been associated with the Phoenix, either in the comics or mythology. Way to rip off Dark Willow, guys.
- I disagree with those who say Storm's hair is better.
- Magneto (a) cares more about Mystique than that, and (b) would be smart enough not to leave her alive to give away information.
- Hank is a diplomat? Uh, okay. Not a bad choice, actually, even if it does joss all the rest of canon. (Oh, and didn't they already show Hank in the first movie as a scientist?)
- Would it have killed them to tell us the names of Magneto's new henchmen? I didn't realise that the superspeed girl was supposed to be Callisto until I was watching the credits.
- Even if he's (almost) de-mutified, isn't Magneto still guilty of like 2458048 murders? How come he's relaxing in a public park at the end of the movie?
- How did that President get elected? He's like Joe Lieberman without the charisma.
- I really would have liked to see some Sentinels tromp across to Alcatraz to muck up the fight even more. What's the deal, they've been around long enough for the Danger Room to mock them up, but the President doesn't feel like calling them out when the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE gets ripped up by a dangerous terrorist?
- Xavier did get a spectacular, eerie death scene. I even buy that it was dramatically necessary. But why didn't Phoenix also kill Magneto and/or Wolverine? She apparently goes with Erik "of her own free will" but never seems particularly interested in the cause, and she spends the entire big fight just standing there rather than helping.
- Juggernaut has an English accent, which is pretty rad, but he's apparently not Xavier's half-brother (Xavier didn't know who he was). This isn't bad, exactly, but it is a little bit zuh?
- Kitty, Piotr, Bobby, and John were all kickass. And there were fastball specials! How my comics beard trembled at that. Rogue was annoying and dull, but she always is (I think).
- I agree with Eve Tushnet regarding the thematic content:
- You know, one resurrection is okay. It's Phoenix. It makes sense. But we all know she isn't and can't be dead forever, so it's going to be two resurrections. And if you stayed past the end credits, you know that they've got a Mastermind type deal with Charles and the mutant in Moira's lab--that's three resurrections. And Cyclops has risen once or twice himself. I realise they probably won't do any more movies (for a while), but nevertheless they've painted themselves into a corner. There's a reason why Marvel now has to kill busloads of schoolchildren in order to get a reaction from fans, and the movies should not be heading down that road.
- I've been writing OMG NONVIOLENT MUTANTS for so long that the body count really made me cringe. In particular, Storm's treatment of Callisto was way harsher than the comics. It's easy to see how overwhelmed the voices of peace must feel, but I wish they had had time to show that.
- I really did love Beast. I loved him like ice cream.
- Yes, I will be writing Kevin Ford standing in line at the public health clinic for the cure. TRY AND STOP ME.
To give an overprocessed popcorn flick its due: shit does blow up in some pretty bitchin' ways. But X-Men is not just about blowing shit up, as fucking awesome and unnecessary as the Golden Gate Bridge thing was.
- I don't care if Cyclops isn't bankable, or if Marsden was miscast (as some people say--I don't agree), or if he was so poorly written that we're better off without him. He deserves better than this. Scott is a character who needs time to unravel, and he was never given that kind of time onscreen. He should not disappear without a trace. Jean should not be making out with Wolverine while her husband isn't even
- Speaking of, I guess it's good that they cut out the cosmic entity and stuff, but the split personality is almost as lame, just because it comes so close to being a good explanation. Minisinoo's Grail is still my ideal: Phoenix is the effect of unimaginable power on Jean's own personality (and conscience). Simple, intuitive, yet rich with meaning.
- I agree with
- I disagree with those who say Storm's hair is better.
- Magneto (a) cares more about Mystique than that, and (b) would be smart enough not to leave her alive to give away information.
- Hank is a diplomat? Uh, okay. Not a bad choice, actually, even if it does joss all the rest of canon. (Oh, and didn't they already show Hank in the first movie as a scientist?)
- Would it have killed them to tell us the names of Magneto's new henchmen? I didn't realise that the superspeed girl was supposed to be Callisto until I was watching the credits.
- Even if he's (almost) de-mutified, isn't Magneto still guilty of like 2458048 murders? How come he's relaxing in a public park at the end of the movie?
- How did that President get elected? He's like Joe Lieberman without the charisma.
- I really would have liked to see some Sentinels tromp across to Alcatraz to muck up the fight even more. What's the deal, they've been around long enough for the Danger Room to mock them up, but the President doesn't feel like calling them out when the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE gets ripped up by a dangerous terrorist?
- Xavier did get a spectacular, eerie death scene. I even buy that it was dramatically necessary. But why didn't Phoenix also kill Magneto and/or Wolverine? She apparently goes with Erik "of her own free will" but never seems particularly interested in the cause, and she spends the entire big fight just standing there rather than helping.
- Juggernaut has an English accent, which is pretty rad, but he's apparently not Xavier's half-brother (Xavier didn't know who he was). This isn't bad, exactly, but it is a little bit zuh?
- Kitty, Piotr, Bobby, and John were all kickass. And there were fastball specials! How my comics beard trembled at that. Rogue was annoying and dull, but she always is (I think).
- I agree with Eve Tushnet regarding the thematic content:
"Let me get this out of the way right quick: A bunch of critics have suggested that the "cure for mutation" is a metaphor for "ex-gay" ministries. And I seriously disagree. Yes--the "cure" plot has very strong cultural markers for "ex-gay" ideology (man, I cringed at that first scene with Angel, I tell you what). But really, "mutation" as such doesn't work very well as a metaphor for anything. Particular, specific mutations can serve beautifully as metaphors for particular situations; but what, symbolically, do Scott Summers, Rogue/Marie, Charles Xavier, Jamie Madrox (yay!!!), Storm, and John/Pyro actually have in common? If you say "difference," then you're just avoiding all the interesting questions about what difference "difference" should make."Seconding the yay for Jamie Madrox, too. If they'd put Cypher in too I would have asploded.
- You know, one resurrection is okay. It's Phoenix. It makes sense. But we all know she isn't and can't be dead forever, so it's going to be two resurrections. And if you stayed past the end credits, you know that they've got a Mastermind type deal with Charles and the mutant in Moira's lab--that's three resurrections. And Cyclops has risen once or twice himself. I realise they probably won't do any more movies (for a while), but nevertheless they've painted themselves into a corner. There's a reason why Marvel now has to kill busloads of schoolchildren in order to get a reaction from fans, and the movies should not be heading down that road.
- I've been writing OMG NONVIOLENT MUTANTS for so long that the body count really made me cringe. In particular, Storm's treatment of Callisto was way harsher than the comics. It's easy to see how overwhelmed the voices of peace must feel, but I wish they had had time to show that.
- I really did love Beast. I loved him like ice cream.
- Yes, I will be writing Kevin Ford standing in line at the public health clinic for the cure. TRY AND STOP ME.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 10:08 pm (UTC)So with you on Cyclops. Although I did like the removal of his glasses; that scene was very well done. And I can understand why he isn't "getting over" Jean's death, since it's not like she's left him alone in the meantime.
I was prepared to dislike Hank, Bobby and Kitty, given what I'd seen in the various trailers. They were pleasant surprises, however. Hank was clearly more a politician than a scientist, which sort of explains his changed attitude. Bobby struck the right balance between well meaning and clueless, and Kitty's game of cat and mouse (heh) with Juggernaut was a particularly inspired sequence.
All in all, there were some good ideas and performances in there. Too bad they never came together to form a really good movie.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-28 04:54 am (UTC)I hate this whole Jean/Logan crap. It's so pathetically ridiculous that she would drop her love for Scott so completely, no matter how psychotic and feral she became by embracing the darkness in her subconscious. The whole Jean/Logan thing is so rushed it feels almost Romeo and Juliet ridiculous. 'Cause seriously, let's think about this: Jean and Logan spent a total of maybe a week in each others' presence if you look at the movie events and try to judge them in a time continuum. Logan leaves the school at the end of X1, and comes back the same day that Jean leaves for somewhere else. They spend a few hours together on the Jet to Alkali Lake, and then suddenly Logan is disturbingly in love with her in X3. I mean, come on!
The Mystique betrayal thing definitely smells rotten (like there was something else going on). I could rant more, but there is already too much said and I could go on for hours. Bleh.