Chapter 13 of the Aphanes, "Transference"

[tocryabout]

Lucky Chapter 13 is up. I can't really talk this one up, because it's not a happy-fun chapter, but I'll give it a shot. Father issues! Atypical antipsychotics! Inuit art! And if you thought Joel was annoying before, he's pushing it now.

Link to the contents page, for those just joining us.

Comments

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Way to torture me! Your link's not working!

[waterstrider.livejournal.com]

Zuh? It works for me. I'll try again:

Come on now, be a good girl (http://qlink.queensu.ca/~0fac/tocryabout/aphanes/index.html)

Father issues and whining

[youngest-one.livejournal.com]

I can see why this isn't a happy - fun chapter.

It is, however, some of the best writing I have seen on the web. Joel's emotional state is described with fascinating and illuminating metaphors; rightness and wholeness settles into his gut, tenderness unfolds, Joel's mind has a rotten core from which his depression issues like insects. The rich emotional landscape you've created for your original character is dark, brutal and gut wrenching, but well worth reading.

And a Jubilee cameo! It's always interesting to see how Jubilee is used by fanfic writers. Here, she served the purpose of the chapter perfectly. She had no malice in her intentions, and no great sadness for Joel, she just knew what it was like to loose a parent and wanted to sympathize.

The quotes at the beginning and end? Are perfect.

Re: Father issues and whining

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks so much. The emotional landscape is what I'm most interested in, no matter what I'm writing, and I'm glad to hear that these characters move people (really I'm astonished, given the natural and well-deserved prejudice against original characters).

Jubilee can be a hard nut to crack, particularly movieverse, where we see so little of her. I feel handicapped sometimes by not being more familiar with the comics.

Re: Father issues and whining

[youngest-one.livejournal.com]

The only time I really dislike original characters is when they veer into Mary Sue/Gary Stu territory; brilliant, angsty, always being right and showing up canon characters.

Joel suffers from none of these flaws, except the angst. Given his condition, however, I'm inclined to be sympathetic.

[brownbetty]

I don't know, I somehow found I had more sympathy for Joel than previously, perhaps because of his self-awareness or maybe just because of the familiarity of the feeling, my brain tells me to say it, so I do. The internal struggle is very... hmm. Familiar, perhaps. Knowing that one is being manipulative, and not liking it, but doing it anyway.

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

It's easier to sympathise with it from the inside, or from a great distance. For the other person in the room, emotional problems like this can be extremely hard to live with, and I had the same problem Joel does -- your insecurities make it impossible for you to be reassured, you become very distrustful of other people and therefore very harsh on them, and no one wants to tell you how you're behaving because they don't want to make it worse or confirm your suspicions. Everything on the inside is negative and everything on the outside is positive, and that's just untenable.

It's hard to figure out what's intentional and what's just the illness talking, and the obsession with "knowing what people think of me" is another way of trying to draw that line between the real and the delusional. I think that's what makes Joel sympathetic -- he's trying to get to the truth and find some way of understanding himself, and his manipulation and judging are mostly unintentional.

Anyway, that fits in with the larger motif of whether we're guilty for things we didn't mean to do.

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

I never really had a problem with lying, but I often felt insulted because I just assumed they didn't really care what I said. And a lot of the time that's true, because no one has time to care about the existential angst of someone they don't know. But it's hard to allow people that sort of leeway when you're depressed.

Poor little guy, heh. C'mon, he's rich and six feet tall! (I don't think his height ever came up, but he's in my notes as relatively tall and lanky.) He'll be less a figure of pity by the end, I hope. ;-)

precioussss feedback

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

You're my best feedbacker ever, so it's okay. There's a Kierkegaard shoutout in there for you (the first line was actually Kafka, but Kierkegaard works too).

[ex-the-epic80.livejournal.com]

Hum...mind if I take up a spot?

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

If you like X-Men, psychology, Canadian politics, and harrowing depression, then go right ahead! I'm a little surprised that anyone besides me does go for that combo, but apparently they do.

I'm self-conscious about the earlier chapters. When it's done I'll go back and polish them up.

[ex-the-epic80.livejournal.com]

What makes depression harrowing? If I might ask...besides, say, hanging out a window claiming that your life is meaningless.

And if you ever do slash, I demand to be paired with Gambit and Prof. X.

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

It is sort of an unpleasant experience, by definition. I don't know. I did write a short novel about it, so you can always read that if you want to know what makes it harrowing.

Now you've made me want to write something where Gambit goes to a Home Depot in Kanata for some reason, only to get it on with the mutant whose power is an uncanny affinity for paint.

[ex-the-epic80.livejournal.com]

I'd love to. Can you point me towards it?

Hum, sounds pretty good so far. What's the inspiration?

[to-cry-about.livejournal.com]

Right here (http://qlink.queensu.ca/~0fac/tocryabout/aphanes/).

The inspiration for both that and any Gambit-in-Home-Depot fics ought to be straightforward -- I'm assuming you read the userinfo and you know this is waterstrider.

[ex-the-epic80.livejournal.com]

Yes ma'am, on my way.

Heh heh, of course you are. Why else would I be here without reading anything first? Be sure to include an evil manager type who gets his/her just desserts!